First Santa, Now Humpty Dumpty

Well, I haven't been this upset since I found out about Santa 

Clause a couple of years ago. Today I found out Humpty 

Dumpty, wasn't an egg at all. Turns out Humpty Dumpty was 

this big ass cannon belonging to the Royalist until destroyed 

(fell of a wall) back in 1648. I guess I should have known 

since not once in the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it 

mention that he’s an egg. I guess the next thing someone 

will tell me is that Puff the Magic Dragon was actually a 

magical airplane capable of firing 18,000 rounds a minute. 

Yeah, right!