Sticky Situations

I don't usually get involved with government agencies and ask for assistance because I had much rather handle the situation myself. However, this situation has finally gotten the best of me and I'm going to petition The FCGA for explanations and possible solutions to my concerns. I know many tens of people share my concerns about sugar free gum. It appears to me sugar free gum is becoming more and more sticky and will adhere to almost anything. When you take it out of your mouth with you fingers , it may take twenty minutes to get rid it. It will even stick to any dental work you might have. The final straw came the other day when Amber and I were driving to Brownwood. Amber was driving and I was taking advantage of the time to take a short nap. I apparently fell asleep with two or three pieces of sugar free gum in my mouth (the small size of sugar free gum pieces is a subject for another time). Well, apparently I am a mouth breather while sleeping in an upright position and when I awoke, my gum had rolled from my mouth and nestled securely into my beard.

Fortunately for me, quick thinking Amber pulled off the highway, reached into the console and pulled out a package of peanut butter and crackers, scraped off the peanut butter, placed it on the wad of gum attached to my chin hairs and eventually was able to scrape the gum/peanut butter mixture along with some beard hair from my chin. Other than being a little late and smelling like peanut butter the rest of the evening things did work out that evening but what if I had been by myself? It could have been serious and that's the reason I'm getting the FCGA (Federal Chewing Gum Administration) involved.