Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Missing Wife Story

An old buddy of mine's wife has been missing for over a week now so the police told him to prepare for the worst. So, he went back to the thrift shop and brought all her clothes back home.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Nothing To Brag About

As I was battling my way through my younger days, I can remember being told by several of my elders that they "have forgotten more than you will ever know." Now that I have been granted the right to be an elderly person myself, I can't remember who it was that told me that stuff and I really don't remember anybody explaining what they meant by it. I certainly see no reason to brag about it.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Microwave Fireplace

Ol' Jake, my neighbor, just invited me over to see his new microwave fireplace. It looked pretty much like a regular fireplace except Jake says he and his wife can now spend an evening sitting in front of the new fireplace in about eight minutes.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

May, My Favorite Month

May has always been one of my favorite months of the year. There are many reasons; my Dad's birthday is in May, Mother's Day comes along, the weather, fishing was always good, Memorial day, Spring is still going strong, we could started wearing shorts pretty much full time as a kid and go bare foot, school let out for the Summer, and probably the biggest reason tracing all the way back to the first grade and continuing on today, it's the easiest month to spell.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Some Folks Count Sheep

Well, I had a hard time going to sleep last night, so I started counting fish and before long I was sleeping like a baby.


Friday, April 29, 2016

Selling Success

I was approached the other day by a feller claiming not to be a salesman but then proceeded to try and sell me an opportunity to learn the secret to success. I explained to him there were at least two reasons and possibly more that I was not interested. First, by his standards, I might not appear successful, but thankfully it was not his judgment that concerned me. Secondly I knew  of very few successful folks that were not  most eager to talk about their success free of charge. I had other comments to make, but he seemed to lose interest in me. Well, at least I was successful in one thing that day.

 

Thursday, April 28, 2016

It's Where?

Today I was sitting next to an elderly man in the doctor's waiting room when I noticed he had a suppository sticking in one of his ears. I asked if he was aware that he had the suppository in his ear. He pulled it out, stared at it for a minute and then thanked me and said, "I appreciate you saying something, now I have a pretty good idea where my hearing aid might be."